Why do I feel this way?
Abuse affects people in many different ways: numbness, denial, confusion, low self-esteem,
loss of childhood memories, anger, shock, disbelief, fear, self-blame, depression,
flashbacks, anxiety, increased startle response, headaches, stomach and bladder problems,
vaginal pain, bladder infections and more.
Abuse can lead to nightmares, a decreased appetite, crying fits that seem to come from
nowhere, feeling threatened when there's no real reason, and feeling like you have to
prove that you weren't wrong.
People react in all these ways and more. There is no wrong way. Your
feelings are valid. They are the natural reaction to a traumatic event.
Why can't I get past it?
This depends on what you mean by getting past it. There are all
extremes from lifelong suffering to a return to health.
| Things That Help |
Things That Don't Help |
| Supportive Family and Friends |
Keeping secret about the abuse |
Therapeutic relationships
(individual and/or group) |
Protecting the perpetrator who
may go on to harm others |
| Medication may be helpful for a
while |
Isolating yourself |
| Seeing yourself as a
multi-dimensional person who has survived a difficult experience |
Reenacting the abuse in other
relationships |
| Journaling |
Feeling responsible for what
happened to you |
| Staying safe and taking good
care of yourself |
Shame |
| Specialized counseling |
Continually exposing yourself to
the perpetrator |
